Scientists detect dark matter
Mon Jul 06, 2026 1:40 pm
Scientists at the Imaginary Institute of Technobolaarrs have today confirmed detection of a dark matter.
The new discovery follows years of intense research stemming from the first observation of a slightly sinister topic three years ago, itself building on the patient research of hundreds of Imaginary scientists when the first subject with somewhat questionable undertones was detected in the late 1950s.
In a press conference at the Institute earlier today, Lead Scientist Harry Backcrackson confirmed the matter was "pretty damn repulsive and indeed does question the morality of the people involved", before being sick in a bin. All fourteen members of the research team have now been arrested and will be refused access to the internet until they apologise.
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