Woodworking mass-killer jailed
Thu Sep 19, 2024 11:05 am
After a trial lasting 7 days, a unanimous guilty verdict was delivered in the case of Horace Kingson, known popularly by the tabloid moniker, the 'Woodcutter'.
Kingson, 56, of Candar-on-Torrs, was found guilty on 6 counts of murder, 1 of manslaughter, and 3 of carpentry. In his summing up, Judge Edgar Yellinson told Mr Kingson that "you are an awful, most degraded person of the worst type. Not only did you kill these 7 innocent people, your sickened mind lead to you constructing furniture from them too. This perhaps would not have been so bad if it wasn't for the terribly poor quality of the furniture, which I wouldn't even use in the servant's quarters, let alone the main living area, as you yourself appear to have done."
Kingson was sentenced to serve 15 consecutive life-sentences, with a break at half-time for good behaviour.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
Business > Kettle of Fish "not pretty" says Skipper of Boat
Thu Nov 21, 2024 8:56 am
World > South Marmurnian Leaders Conference begins
Thu Nov 21, 2024 8:27 am
World > Stupid country invades itself
Wed Nov 20, 2024 8:45 am
Sci & Tech > Inverse telescope views own destruction ahead of launch
Wed Nov 20, 2024 8:42 am
Arts & Ent > Bruce Monsoon dies aged 96
Wed Nov 20, 2024 6:19 am
Today's Crossword
Bollocks
Recipe Corner
Traditonal Euronian Casserole
Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).