Caspar Wine Burger profits boost
Fri Jul 24, 2026 8:12 pm
Fast food chain Caspar has announced a 44% increase in 2nd quarter profits after a successful launch of its new 'Wine Burger' range.
The new range of alcoholic burgers has been condemned by health-campaigners, who were invited to Caspar's recent AGM and shot. Since then, the new products have helped increase turnover at the chain's restaurants by 67%, but with a corresponding 28% costs increase through having to employ more cleaners.
Shares in Caspar, which have been dead since 2006, have done the full Ronald and are likely to funellate themselves slowly in the 3rd quarter.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
Arts & Ent > Gig review: Blue Prince at the Complexity Pit
Wed Aug 12, 2026 2:43 pm
Politics > MP jailed "just to be safe"
Wed Aug 12, 2026 1:18 pm
Sport > Snakes edge Bears to go to SuperFinal
Wed Aug 12, 2026 6:01 am
Sci & Tech > Artifical intelligence reveals fake real intelligence
Tue Aug 11, 2026 1:42 pm
Business > Massive writedown for Billswang
Tue Aug 11, 2026 1:42 pm
Today's Crossword
Dagnabbit
Poetry Corner
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).