Caspar Wine Burger profits boost
Fri May 01, 2026 8:12 pm
Fast food chain Caspar has announced a 44% increase in 2nd quarter profits after a successful launch of its new 'Wine Burger' range.
The new range of alcoholic burgers has been condemned by health-campaigners, who were invited to Caspar's recent AGM and shot. Since then, the new products have helped increase turnover at the chain's restaurants by 67%, but with a corresponding 28% costs increase through having to employ more cleaners.
Shares in Caspar, which have been dead since 2006, have done the full Ronald and are likely to funellate themselves slowly in the 3rd quarter.
Share this story: Share this story on X/Twitter
Unrelated stories:
Latest Imaginary News
Sport > Bouncing tournament suspended
Tue Jun 16, 2026 2:25 pm
Business > Flower market budding, daisy chains linked
Tue Jun 16, 2026 12:42 pm
Politics > Opposition blocks Wind bill
Tue Jun 16, 2026 12:26 pm
Arts & Ent > Channel 362 reveals new line-up
Mon Jun 15, 2026 2:02 pm
World > Giant pig takes over Hamlet
Mon Jun 15, 2026 1:41 pm
Today's Crossword
Arsebags
Dark Thought For The Day
Statistically, your deepest worries and most ardent desires mean nothing to anyone.
INN Advertising
We haven't yet plastered this site in ads and stuff like that coz no-one knows about it. Tell all your friends and we'll carefully select some based on your unique personality profile (as long as you like dirty videos and weightloss pills).