Growth boost for hedge fund
Thu Aug 13, 2026 1:45 pm
Rockerbilly, a multinational hedge fund broker, has revealed a significant growth in its hedges across the southern hemisphere this winter.
The results sent Rockerbilly shares soaring before financial managers were able to get a grip and bring them back down to earth, but they still finished up 19, with a 3.6 booner.
Hedge analyst, Matthew Baggerstockson, said the news revealed a pattern in hedge fund growth : "We have found that there's significantly more growth in hedge funds in the southern hemisphere during the winter months, while northern hemisphere hedges tend to perform better during the summer."
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Grilled BBQ Flatburgers
Put 5kg of chopped mince into a large bowl and beat mercilessly for hours. Once the mince has been thoroughly defeated, add to a large vat of acid and skim off any residue. Drain, then shape the mince into patties using the power of your mind. Grill on a hidden BBQ for 4 days each side or until the neighbours complain.
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