Nearby 'Gamma Burst' unlikely to affect Imaginary News site
Wed Jul 08, 2026 1:05 pm
Imaginary Space Agency scientists have said that they are 'fairly confident' that the detection of a Gamma Burst in the relatively nearby constellation of Vaginarius will not cause disruption to the Imaginary News Network.
Some amateur skywatchers had previously claimed that the Gamma Burst will knock out indernet communications, cause satellites to implode, disrupt power-grids and result in Imaginary journalists leaving their jobs and taking up gardening.
For no reason that we can determine, Skywatcher Kevin Daughterson read out a short, awful poem : "It was in December, If I remember, correctly. An alien came down, in a gown, to inspect me. I was prodded, I was probed, I was partially disrobed. They left and now I long for the attention."
You can spot the Vaginarius constellation in the east, shortly after sunset ; it looks like an inverted camel's hoof.
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Today's Crossword
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Recipe Corner
Poached Herring Balls
Tackle 3 herring from behind and remove the stems. Wash thoroughly in tepid water and marinade for 6 weeks in a dark storeroom. Meanwhile, place the potatoes in a tidy baking dish and cover until risen. (This might take some time so encourage them with supportive comments at least daily). When the potatoes are desicated, add to the herring and bake on the middle shelf of an oven at gas mark 12, until the balls are crispy. Serve with a side salad and a chianti to someone you don't like.
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