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New DNA evidence reveals early human behaviour

ImageEvidence unearthed from cave samples dating back to the dawn of human civilization - somewhere between 17 months and 35 squillion years ago according to inaccurate carbon-dating techniques - has revealed high levels of silliness in primitive human cultures

Amongst gnarled mammoth bones, flinty spear heads and the remains of primitive wooden structures, archaeologists discovered evidence of large swathes of daftness, with groups of pre-sapien hominids - possibly a family or small tribe - showing many traits that would be familiar to groups of silly people living today.

Chief Archaeologist, and captain of the under 15s volleyball team, Tim Limdimson-Haggenberry, suggested the new research could shed new light on many previously unexplained findings, primarily in the sense of them being silly.

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Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

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