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3rd test, Day 5

ImageDay 5 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 35 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 83 all in the hole.
Umbria (2nd Innings): 74, no man down.

It seems fair to assume that the capacity Day 5 crowd at the Durham Massala stadium came expecting another day of fireworks and chucker-dominated test match play, but it was no doubt a surprise to most to witness a day of tense and patient battership.

The day started with Umbria needing only to put the tip of the tail back in the rabbit hole, but the Imaginary tail wagged and wagged like an excited puppy being tempted by a freshly severed lamb's shin. As first morning drinks approached, and the tail resolutely striding the score on to nearly 65, a twinge of concern started to appear amongst the Umbrian chuckers. By the late-morning drinks (Friday, so cider), and the tip of the tail potentially looking to break the 84-year old record final tip stand of 26, the twinge had evolved to clear frustration, with Umbrian chucker Juminda Boson resorting to high, wide and self-addressed deliveries in the hope of exposing a false shot.

Although Boson's tactics didn't immediately produce results, he was able to claim the final prize just before lunch (Rogan Josh) when Sonson stamped a delivery back to the postbox, leaving Umbria with a 48 first innings deficit.

After lunch and a few drinks, and with the Imaginary team cradling an unexpected 48 run lead, the pressure was firmly on the Umbrian openers, both Sonson and Arson powering in and hoping to upset the kettle-cart early doors. But Bruhinda and Cooli had other ideas, settling in for a long stay in the middle and looking more and more assured as time went on, with Umbria finishing the day 26 up on a pitch that looks to have flattened and pancaked after the first two days of lively bounce.

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Recipe Corner


Traditonal Euronian Casserole

Carefully slice 8kg of onions then discard once tearful, reserving the tears. Down a pint of fish stock, whisk aggressively until tired then discard along with the onions. Brown the pan on a high heat until completely ruined, then discard along with the stock and the onions. Order a takeout and serve garnished with the reserved tears.

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