Interstellar Pope crosses stellar boundary

Fri Apr 10, 2026 1:45 pm

Originally launched in the 1970s, Pope John Paul George Ringo III has now officially entered interstellar space.

Contrary to popular misconceptions, there is no sphere of doors separating the 'Inside' and 'Outside' of our solar system, nor indeed a massive rope, but instead a magnetised barrier of charged ions that stream away from our sun and push against interstellar wind space through a mechanism known as 'heliotropic beating off'.

Sensors onboard the Pope recently began to detect the beating off, with a change in the direction of ion polarisation indicating the Pope was crossing the solar system boundary and probably producing a cool, retro teleport type effect like in 60's Star Trek.

The Imaginary Space Agency confirmed the transition into interstellar space last night, after the faint sound of the Pope's haunted screams faded away into silence.

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