Doubleuptop wins Annual World Championship Final

Tue Jul 07, 2026 12:36 pm

Armernican superstar Marcus Doubleuptop confirmed his dominance today by defeating Imaginary champion William Wilson in the Annual World Championship final held at the Effigy Stadium in Bruids.

Wilson started well, with an opening 6 pointer, a triple-back and a cross perigree, but Doubleuptop's back-handed return of a daft compliment, a wide ball and a (eponymous) double-up-top soon put the local challenger on the back foot. The use of the back foot disqualified Wilson from the remainder of the first round, with Doubleuptop able to carry on unchallenged (and on both front feet), gaining himself full marks with a triple crescendo, a bull sample and a risk-free handjob.

The second round was closer ; Wilson forcibly parrying Doubleuptop's forearm and gaining the higher ground with a floating delivery just outside of hours, but again Doubleuptop's expertise shone through when he rode the donkey back down to the main town with a three ball plant.

With only a slim chance for Wilson to avert the inevitable, the third, and final, round ended prematurely when Wilson popped off without intervention and Doubleuptop was able to stroll home with victory in the bag, which he later returned following police inquiries.

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