80% of surveys pointless, Survey survey says
Sat May 09, 2026 12:24 pm
Surveys of things are largely pointless, according to Survey, the company that does surveys of various things.
In a survey of 100 surveyors, the Survey survey found that 80% of them just make it up anyway.
The remaining 20% of surveyors work for Survey, and said that Survey surveys were super.
Survey CEO, Prof. Surveyson, said that the results wouldn't change anything and he has already fired the people responsible, out of a cannon.
Sport >
Big money in play at this year's Ballinhole Open
Fri May 08, 2026 2:03 pm
Prize money at this year's Ballinhole Open is expected to top 1,000,000 sheckles for the first time in it's history.
Players from all over the world will be competing in the tournament and hoping to take a slice of the big, steaming money pie by putting the balls in holes all around the famous 12 hole course.
No. 1 seed Fugal Horne will be looking to repeat his performance of last year when he was able to shoot a round of 6 under the bar, with 11 of the 12 balls in the holes before charge ran out on his little buggy. Fugal will also be keeping a close eye on local challenger Jack 'The Great White Shark' Nicholson, who has been having a personal best season, recently winning the Royal Dutch Ballinhole Invitational despite losing control of his legs.
Science & Technology >
Wave-particle duality cancels conference appearance
Thu May 07, 2026 1:40 pm
Wave-particle duality has cancelled their planned appearance at the annual International Physicists Symposium (IPS) conference due to "irreconcilable differences".
Wave-particle duality expressed regrets but said that it was both unable to attend the conference due to be held in Bernn at the end of this month, and that it was forced to abandon all of their existing plans.
Conference organisers are desperately looking for a stand-in for the key-note event to take place on the conference's second evening, with leading candidates including Bose-Einstein condensate, the weak atomic force and Concatanive party prime ministerial candidate Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
New cinema releases
Fri May 08, 2026 12:45 pm
Gig Review : Mudpickers at The Tent
Mon May 04, 2026 5:08 pm
Theatre Review: Copperson at the Old Nick
Thu Apr 30, 2026 5:04 pm
TV Highlights : Broken Armchair
Tue Apr 28, 2026 5:29 pm
"Worst Sects Scene" award awarded
Fri Apr 24, 2026 1:34 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - up 0.8 at 4154.8ICU up 0.02% against the Euro
Down 4c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
ITSY dippy on shorts forecast
The ITSY dipped below its 5 year low today after the monthly shorts forecast suggested a loosening of the long-trouser belt-tightening that has been restraining price increases since christmas.
Market watcher, Lorraine Popsworthson, said "The ITSY has always been notoriously dippy, and is often volatile when the shorts are off, but this does appear to be a trend. We're advising all our brokers, tokers and back-street jokers to keep an eye on next month's BITSY trade forecast and withdraw early if necessary to avoid infection."
ITSY shorts closed down 5, with two massive swingers.
Today's Crossword
Shit
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