Whip extended for new ministers
Tue Jun 02, 2026 1:00 pm
New ministers on the Committee for Subsequent Affairs have had the whip extended for the first time in 45 years.
The last time the whip was extended was during the notorious, post-war, so-called 'Swinging Cabinet', compromising of ministers from 'both sides of the house' who liked to vote both ways. This time round the extension seems less obviously justified, with no exposed ministers yet being recorded offering their public services.
Rumours from the lobby circuit suggest the extended whip is partly related to a softening pound, possibly due to overuse, but maybe just age, and a rapid recess in the regions might be required to recover some vigour.
Sport >
Snakes trounce Diggers in SuperFinal
Mon Jun 01, 2026 12:56 pm
Given the intense levels of excitement, buildup and hype that precedes it, it is rare the SuperFinal lives up to expectations, and this year's final was no exception, with a one-sided match never threatening to be anything but disappointing.
Although they started well, with the Diggers' Lead Cover Chuck Backswipe taking an introspection break during the Snake's initial drive, the Diggers were unable to convert the turnaround and from then on never looked likely to threaten the turf. Diggers' Quatbacker Delorean Dickchurch looked out of sorts, unable to deliver with the ball and without it, and both Moses and Wedgin went ball-less for the whole first half. When Diggers' star centre Leahawk Sparkbanner broke down with a split fanbelt midway through the 2nd quarter, the writing was on the wall for the Diggers.
At the other end, the Snakes looked like a well-oiled machine, converting from 6, 15 and 34, (the latter being a double-pointer) and Wide Collector Starbait Bruceybonus snatching a treble and 35 points from a domineering forward shuffle. A late consolation fumble on the sidelines by Diggers' backspot Casper Whittlestick (and 3 cheerleaders) did little to change the inevitable outcome, and as the final whistlehorn blew the Snakes sealed the victory 90-3.
Post-match, Snakes' coach Trackle Bellicheck was emotional as he lifted the Braun Lumberston trophy, dedicating the victory to his late mother, who passed away earlier in the season from Syphilis.
Science & Technology >
New VVR tech almost as good as the real thing
Tue Jun 02, 2026 1:32 pm
Silicone valley startup, Monflosity, claim their new virtual virtual reality kit is so good you won't be able to tell you're not using an actual virtual reality setup.
Monflosity Chief Technicalling Operator Bill Whacklebaster claims the absence of a revolutionary new head-tracking system, combined with a daily refresh rate and an expanded resolution (1 per eye), means their new VVR tech is indistinguishable from the real thing. Experiments with confused children and dogs back up those claims, with no indication from either group that they had any awareness what was going on.
"We see a great opportunity for having people give us money without us having to do any significant amount of work", said Monflosity's CFO Houston Wehaveaproblem. "We want the money, so if you can convince those people, there, to give us their money, that'd be great". Houston handed round a small tin which itself was also indistinguishable from the real thing.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Salmon streaming
Tue Jun 02, 2026 2:10 pm
Jackson Jones finds his funk
Fri May 29, 2026 2:34 pm
Book Review: The Turn of the Shoe
Wed May 27, 2026 1:39 pm
Imaginary news site pulls really offensive headline
Tue May 26, 2026 11:56 am
Festival goers shocked by thing
Sat May 23, 2026 12:22 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - up 0.6 at 4126ICU up -0.04% against the Euro
Down 5c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
Dunslap shares plummet
The markets absorbed the news from Dunslap HQ with vigour, initially rising 6 before dropping off the cliff and ending up squashed on the beach along 85 points.
As trading opened this morning it initially looked like Dunslap might hold on, clinging by fingernails to an overhanging ledge while dramatic music played. But the market 'good guy' (of questionable virtue) approached the edge, made some trite comment and kicked Dunslap's share fingers away, casting them down like a medieval king subjugating a dirty peasant from atop his majestic steed.
Analysts at Miggins were unable to comment having had way too many glasses at lunch.
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