Euronia prepares for annual dust up
Fri Apr 17, 2026 5:02 pm
Preparations are under way for Euronia's annual dust-up, with people from all walks of life helping out - buffing the scojurns and rimming the everlasting fingerplants.
The annual dust up has been a tradition across Euronia since the early 13th century, when Prontogist monks first began dusting up their monasteries in recognition of their patron saint's virginal passage buff. Although the main dust up event is now kept to a single weekend, rather than the whole month as the original tradition dictates, those 13th century monks would still recognise many of the costumes and moves used today.
It has now been 16 years since anyone was seriously injured during the dust up, and 19 years since the last fatality.
Sport >
2nd Test starts Sunday
Fri Apr 17, 2026 3:21 pm
While most eyes in the sporting world will be on the big second semi-final playoff between the Bears and the Snakes taking place in the Salad Bowl on Friday, we mustn't forget that the 2nd Test versus Umbria starts this weekend.
After the wash-out of the 1st Test both teams will be looking forward to a competitive match, with conditions looking perfect at the Costcuttle Ground in Jillhadi. Umbrian captain Majahid Ranmanakoolaban said "We're hoping for a good match. The ground is looking well-prepared, the weather is set fine, we're all strapped in and ready to go".
The five match Test series is vitally important to both teams, who are both currently tied in 3rd and 4th in the world rankings. Victory for either side will give them a spare berth in the World Cup that starts in the summer.
Science & Technology >
Probe to be launched this weekend
Wed Apr 15, 2026 10:11 pm
The Imaginary Space Agency (ISA) has confirmed all is on track and looking good for the 'Explorer IV' probe which is planned to launch this weekend.
If all goes well, the Explorer will be lifted through the atmosphere and enter geostationary orbit on Sunday evening. After a brief systems check, the probe's engines will burn for an additional 45 minutes setting it on its long journey to Marrrrrs. Assuming the burn completes successfully, the probe will then be put into hibernation for 3 weeks as it traverses the 50 million miles between the planets, before waking and firing its engines a final time to enter an elliptical orbit around Marrrrrs at the beginning of December.
We'll be providing regular updates on the mission as they occur.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Dead 80's rocker planning a comeback
Fri Apr 17, 2026 1:12 pm
Street theatre raised to new levels
Wed Apr 15, 2026 9:59 pm
New shows coming to Nooplux
Mon Apr 13, 2026 7:33 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - down 0.4 at 4082.9ICU down 0.10% against the Euro
Down 9c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
Just-Ate acquires rival
Online restaurant-invitation-denial service Just-Ate has completed the acquisition of rival site I'mFull making it easily the world's largest culinary denial service with a market cap of over 68 billion squillion.
Demand for online restaurant-invitation-denial services has exploded in recent years, leaving traditional 'Bricks and Mortar' businesses floundering and analysts predicting both companies are likely to fold within the year.
Bricks CEO, Hugh Tellmethatagainson, tried to put a positive spin on the story, declaring "We at Bricks, and our colleagues across the road at Mortar, still believe there's a place for traditional high-street restaurant-invitation-denial services, and expect that we'll see a return to growth later in the year when all the money has run out for the internetty upstarts. Please dont phone me again."
The CEO of Mortar is currently on holiday in the Bahoomas and cannot be contacted for legal reasons.
Today's Crossword
Arsebags
