Candidates throw hats into ring
Thu Nov 06, 2025 3:21 pm
After the recent resignation of Prime Minister Cumberson following a series of allegations of inappropriate fuffering behaviour in the early 90s, four candidates from the ruling Concatanive party have, in a surprise development, thrown their hats into a ring.
The four candidates, in alpahabetical order, are:
- Member for North Bunswold, Margaret Commerson (Fedora)
- Member for Pidlington, Sir Herbert Double-Jamesons (Bowler)
- Member for Carmoothen South, Edgar Edgarsonsonson (Bearskin cap)
- Member for the Isles of Skoot, Barmog and the Outer Hurmerners, James McSpargonson (Pork pie)
Sport >
2nd Test - Day 4 report
Thu Nov 06, 2025 3:42 pm
Day 4 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary: 6 for 2 up 1.
It took the Imaginary chuckers just 3 hours to remove the Umbrian tail in the morning session of Day 4 at the Costcuttle ground in Jillhadi.
Despite having no tail to lean on, Umbrian battersman Mahwannacup Bruhindi still managed to heave a couple of massive yorkies over the fence to add a few more to the total, before finally succumbing to the last ball of the session, when a vicious jiggler from offside dipper chucker Stevie Johnsonson spit back up the pitch and took out his middle leg.
Most of the rest of the day was taken up with the Between-Innings Drinks, during which Imaginary's captain Tony Greggson entertained the crowd with his impressions of the ex-PM fuffering in the early 90s. Both the Umbrian chuckers and the Imaginary opening battersmen somewhat overdid this session, with a series of pints followed by a double brandy each, meaning play in the evening session was kept to a bare minimum. Veteran Imaginary battersman Joe Jimson managed to score a couple before retiring but failed to trouble the scorers, and that was that for the day.
The Imaginary team will be hoping to build up a decent score on Day 5 providing they don't have really awful hangovers.
Science & Technology >
Graphene nanotubes lost in drawer
Thu Nov 06, 2025 12:39 pm
Researchers at the Institute for Tiny Engineering have spent years working with extremely small chains of graphene molecules, forming them into tiny tubes called 'nanotubes', but now they've lost them.
The aim of the research was to create a really long but microscopically thin tube that they could use to connect two things, say, an ear and a mouth. Or a cat and a kitchen. During a clear-out in advance of the annual Tiny Balls (a series of events taking place this month in which engineers and scientists get to let their hair down, their flippers out and give their gills a good scrub. That might be dolphins, not engineers, no wait, dolphins don't have gills. Oh well, never mind.)
The loss of the nanotubes is a terrific blow to science and will set the Institute back years, but no-one will notice so its ok.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Opening: Fetish gallery contrail nudes
Wed Nov 05, 2025 4:26 am
Music: In My Mouth - Overly Winsome
Mon Nov 03, 2025 10:28 pm
Dead 80's rocker planning a comeback
Fri Oct 31, 2025 1:12 pm
Street theatre raised to new levels
Wed Oct 29, 2025 9:59 pm
New shows coming to Nooplux
Mon Oct 27, 2025 7:33 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - down 0.9 at 4125ICU down 0.04% against the Euro
Up 7c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
FINEX markets down on quarterly GIMP figures
FINEX markets around the world closed sharply down this morning, as the latest GIMP figures suggested an increasing slowdown in global confidence avoidance.
Analyst Kenchu Viamactory from HK-BS said "Confidence avoidance levels haven't lacked this much stamina since the heavy depression of 2007, when manufacturers around the world became substantially disheartened by the little plastic things that kept getting delivered". Others meanwhile, including Head of Strategic Confidence at US banker Gordon Charts, James Weiner, suggested the downturn is a temporary setback : "Stare really closely at these figures and they kinda do your head in, but if you take a few steps back.. ideally into another room.. well from that perspective the long-term trend looks pretty flat.".
FINEX was down 6, up 4, with 3 across 'Incomplete? Spend it, perhaps? (7)' still unresolved.
Today's Crossword
Balls
