Rare footage of Simerian MiniBear captured
Fri May 30, 2025 8:12 pm
Naturalists on an expedition to the remote northern regions of Simeria have captured a rare glimpse of the famous Simerian MiniBear, a creature only seen in the wild twice previously.
The MiniBear is notoriously shy, hibernates for 8 years at a time and lives in the most inaccessible regions of Simeria, rarely coming into contact with humans. In its rare waking moments, any unexpected noise triggers the MiniBear's natural defensive response (curling up into ball and shrinking to the size of a grain of sand) which makes wild sightings so rare.
Expedition leader Magnus Johanssus described how they managed to capture the MiniBear footage : "We were climbing up a sharp incline when Elga dropped one of those little dangly things that she liked to keep attached to her massive backpack. As she reached down to retrieve it we realised it had landed right next to a MiniBear cavehole - they're clearly recognisable because of the tiny poo stains at the entrance. So I pitched a tent, I was that excited. Later, Elga and I set up the camping equipment so we had somewhere to stay, and we set up our cameras. We had to wait, in silence, for 6 years for the MiniBear to emerge, and the film we captured was worth every minute. It is a shame Elga died before she got to see it."
Sport >
2nd Test - Day 10 Report
Thu May 29, 2025 5:06 pm
The pre-match debate in the pressbox was all about how long Umbrian captain, Majahid Ranmanakoolaban, would wait before the declaration, but in the end it was a moot point as Umbria were skittled out for just 24 by a devastating burst of fast chucking by Michael Sonson.
The day had started slowly, with the Umbrian battersmen apparently in no rush to force the issue, but the surprise selection of Rum for the mid-morning drinks break seemed to transform Sonson, and the Umbrian battersmen were all back in the rabbit hole in time for lunch (Vegetable Biryani).
The afternoon session began with a solid and positive partnership between Imaginary openers Bullson and Chives (shifted up the order after Jimson's earlier retirement pending drug-use investigations), putting on 65 without loss up till tea. The post-tea drinks break (again, a surprise decision of more Rum), put a dampener on the rest of the day's play, which progressed only intermittently, the Imaginary battersmen adding another 34 with only Bullson back in the hole.
It'll be a tense final day tomorrow, and with the pitch deteriorating and Rum hangovers most likely, the odds will be heavily in Umbria's favour.
Day 10 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 132 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 102 all in the hole.
Umbria (2nd Innings): 467 all in the hole.
Imaginary (2nd Innings): 89 for 2, up 1.
Science & Technology >
Waspy microtech tent reveal
Fri May 30, 2025 2:44 pm
Followers of waspy tech look forward each year to the annual KES show, held in downtown los caramoosh, caramoosh shall we do the fandango. This year's show promised not to disappoint, as usual, but its waspy microtech tent reveal hasn't gone down well with punters.
"We were hoping for a bit more than a waspy microtech tent reveal" said one visitor, Mrs Punter, who travelled for 3 days to reach the show from her home town of Backswagon. "We've always loved the KES, and Gerald, my husband, has lots of waspy tech all up and down the walls. I guess its still worth it, but its not like that time when the bees were all over the place and everyone got stung to buggery."
Though the reception was mixed, the waspy microtech tent reveal wasn't a complete disappointment, with receptionists and completionists both showing favourable trends in market research about markets, it was revealed.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Theatre Review: Copperson at the Old Nick
Thu May 29, 2025 5:04 pm
TV Highlights : Broken Armchair
Tue May 27, 2025 5:29 pm
"Worst Sects Scene" award awarded
Fri May 23, 2025 1:34 pm
Opening: Fetish gallery contrail nudes
Wed May 21, 2025 4:26 am
Music: In My Mouth - Overly Winsome
Mon May 19, 2025 10:28 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - down 0.8 at 4077.4ICU down 0.03% against the Euro
Up 9c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
Caspar Wine Burger profits boost
Fast food chain Caspar has announced a 44% increase in 2nd quarter profits after a successful launch of its new 'Wine Burger' range.
The new range of alcoholic burgers has been condemned by health-campaigners, who were invited to Caspar's recent AGM and shot. Since then, the new products have helped increase turnover at the chain's restaurants by 67%, but with a corresponding 28% costs increase through having to employ more cleaners.
Shares in Caspar, which have been dead since 2006, have done the full Ronald and are likely to funellate themselves slowly in the 3rd quarter.
Today's Crossword
Godammnit
Infinite Suduko
