Scandal rocks opening debate
Tue Oct 15, 2024 5:55 am
Newly sworn in Prime Minister Margaret Commerson was given little time to settle in to her new role, as newspaper reports suggest she was involved in controversial round-handing deals in the early 1990s.
Attending her first Prime Ministerial Questions Debate, Commerson was immediately on the backfoot when long-serving opposition member, Wilson Jimsonson-Leeson(son), raised questions about the reports. Commerson refused to answer the question directly, preferring instead to suggest that there was some surprising, unlikely object appearing behind Mr Jimsonson-Leeson(son) just out of his view, and if he were to turn round he might catch a glimpse of it. Jimsonson-Leeson(son) refused to be drawn by this tactic and persisted with his questioning, at which point Commerson handed over to Deputy PM, William Nackerson, citing urgent official business in the Foreign Office.
Newspapers have been pouring over the leaked details of 1990s deals, which suggest Commerson was paid large sums of money to provide round-handing services to senior judges while a junior minister at the treasury office.
Sport >
International Swamp Locating tournament begins
Tue Oct 15, 2024 5:56 am
This year's International Swamp Locating tournament commences tomorrow, with world champion Mikail Godwinson looking to defend his title for the 25th year running.
Godwinson has been at the top of International Swamp Locating leaderboard since he first appeared on the scene back in the early 1990s, demonstrating his ability to locate swamps without even attempting to do so. Monday's tournament won't be so simple though; not only is Godwinson much older - his knees are frail and eyesight not what it was - there's also a number of younger Swamp Locators who will be challenging hard for the title.
Under-18s UK Swamp Locating champion, Alexander Hardybulb, is hoping to be the first to break Godwinson's grip on the title : "At some point the old geezer has got to slip up, and when he does I'll be ready. I've been practising locating swamps all weekend and I reckon I have a pretty good idea what they look like now".
Science & Technology >
Odd-bit computers 'more efficient'
Mon Oct 14, 2024 7:58 am
Research initially funded by Armernican defense agency, ADARPA, has found tantalizing evidence that odd-bitted computers are more efficient than the traditional binary square even-bittage.
In a paper published this month in the respected journal, Nurture, researchers at the Mataflopolis Institution of the Technollarrrrs claim that a 7, 13, 35 or 61 bit architecture has a significant power advantage over the traditional 8, 16, 32 or 64 bit systems.
According to research scientist, Benoit Mandelbrosison, "It's the last thing we were expecting, and that is why there is such a power difference. Architectures based on powers of 2 are now so predictable that they've lost the power of surprise, thereby diminishing their overall capacity. Although the element of surprise plays a relatively small part in the overall power of modern computer systems, it is a cumulative effect and we have now reached the point where the combined loss of 'wooah' is greater than the gain of using the traditional, more logical, bifactorial system."
When compared to, say, a nice field of corn or a happy cow, all participants in a survey conducted at the institute were shown to be well wide of the mark, yup.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Imaginary news site pulls really offensive headline
Tue Oct 15, 2024 5:56 am
Festival goers shocked by thing
Sat Oct 12, 2024 6:22 am
Gig review: Blue Prince at the Complexity Pit
Wed Oct 09, 2024 8:43 am
Oven all the finds
Mon Oct 07, 2024 6:11 am
Album Review: Benny Brucebar: Live at the Smokehouse
Fri Oct 04, 2024 8:17 am
Markets >
ISE 100 - up 0.2 at 4084.8ICU up -0.06% against the Euro
Down 4c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
BAZDAK short seller faces clink for sheeping
Despite the growing acceptance of the BAZDAK - the bubble-based and self-proclaimed saviour of the trading sector - the fledgling marketplace faced new threats to its existence this morning after accusations of sheeping were levelled at its most successful member, Huya Lokinat.
Sheeping - a woolly trading method wherein large numbers of low-level stocks are installed on the floor to create unauthorized access to high-level commodities - is illegal outside Armenifrica, but that hasn't prevented the practice taking hold, according to the regulator OFBAZ.
The BAZDAK, which organizes its trades according to height, is generally seen as benefiting lankier traders: the buttons for "Buy", "Sell" or "Panic" are set at a height related to the cost of the commodity in question. According to OFBAZ, the BAZDAK floor has recently featured unusual numbers of stocks that have provided easy access to high-value trades.
Several short sellers have benefited unfairly, an OFBAZ spokesperson said - Lokinat being the most famous. The penalty for sheeping ranges from life-clink to permanent daggets.
The BAZDAK shrank to 3.5 on the news, while the CHAVDEX grew six inches.
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