Partial lemon flavour extracted from Walnut Bird
Thu Oct 16, 2025 12:46 pm
The rare Walnut Bird, only seen twice in captivity (and then only at an angle), has been discovered to have a not-quite lemony flavour when roasted.
The Walnut bird - official latin name : Tamratalata Tamratalata Heyfarshowerpasboomdeyae - so named because of its resemblance, is one of the world's rarest birds with only two mating couples in the wild, which they literally are, given they were mating. Dr Samuel Arsinhandinson of the Royal Institute for the Prevention (RIP) has been studying these mating couples (obliquely) for the past 14 years, and declared the culinary satisfaction to be almost entirely not worth it.
"Normally a little squeeze of lemon on a dish adds a freshness, a zest, a little tickle of excitement for the tastebuds.. the roasted Walnut bird almost provides that in itself.. just not quite". Asked to compare the experience to, say, a sweet and sour chicken ball, Dr Arsinhandinson said: "I really don't have enough data yet. I'm gonna stare at the wall for a while and if I catch a glimpse of the other one I'll eat that and let you know. Perhaps we should try frying it in olive oil this time, with a squeeze of lime and some coriander."
Sport >
3rd test, Day 4
Thu Oct 16, 2025 2:20 pm
Day 4 Close
Umbria (1st Innings): 35 all in the hole.
Imaginary (1st Innings): 59 for all but one, down 5.
A Test Match of record-breaking surprises continued in similar form today as the Umbrian chuckers tore through the Imaginary battersmen like an excited 8 year old drug-addict told his christmas presents were an ounce, a crack pipe and a pound of heroin.
Starting the day on a solid zero, Imaginary openers Ian Bullson and Jimmy Chives ground out a respectable start, scoring slowly but steadily for the first few hours and ticking the scoreboard up to 5 by the time of the mid-morning drinks. But both looked all at sea when Umbria switched approach and bought on right-arm leggy chucker, Barswat Mandarath. Chives was soon back in the rabbit hole after swiping at a wrong 'un, Bullson following not long after when he was trapped on both legs with a full one caught short.
Greggson and Cookerson provided a bit of resistance after lunch (Chicken Makhani, Naan, side of Matar Paneer, with a chianti for the grown-ups and lagers for the young uns), especially after sharing the remains of an 'overnight' bottle of Lagavullin 12 year old, taking the innings score up past 40 and giving the Imaginary team a small lead, but when they were both out ducking at a Mandarath quacker, the collapse that followed was both unexpected and predictable. Keeper-Wilson's massive gloved hands could barely hold the wrong end of the bat, debutant Debutant Dimson was befuddled by a giggly, and the tail was limp through to the final over of play.
Inevitably, with both teams failing to top 100 in their first innings and the worrying proposition of an actual result a genuine possibility, questions will be raised about the quality of the pitch, which has shown signs of deprivation since the first chuck of the match.
Science & Technology >
On this day in Science
Thu Oct 16, 2025 12:44 pm
On this day 200 years ago, Natural Historians (as they referred to themselves at the time) made a great leap forward in identifying the processes by which disease spread around the body ; i.e. through difficult airs that were released when young men were exposed to the calves of middle aged ladies
Also on this day at the start of the 20th century, Industrialist Harry Entrance delivered the first of his new range of motor vehicles to eager customers in New Park, Armenica. The vehicles, known as the Model Pfft, ran on refined horse manure, had no windows or doors and had a top speed of 600 miles per hour. Two hundred and fifteen members of the 'Walking in Front of the Car Waving a Red Flag' Union were killed in the months following the release of the Model Pfft, which eventually led to the practice being abolished and the union disbanded.
Closer to modern day, just 10 years ago this day, scientists discovered the first ever nasal contraceptive and there have been no nasal births since.
Unrelated stories:
Arts & Entertainment >
Tears FM hits the airwaves
Wed Oct 15, 2025 12:25 pm
Concert performance cancelled after accidents
Fri Oct 10, 2025 12:34 pm
Floral response presentation
Wed Oct 08, 2025 1:07 pm
Channel 362 reveals new line-up
Mon Oct 06, 2025 2:02 pm
Christmas Fantastic album review
Thu Oct 02, 2025 1:51 pm
Markets >
ISE 100 - down 0.6 at 4095.7ICU down 0.09% against the Euro
Down 9c against the PD
We occasionally potter about in the garden.
Business wire >
Cher prices rise
At the close of trading today, the price for Cher rose to a new high ($6.60 per ounce) while the Sonny index tanked, ending at a disappointing $14.50 per barrel
70's Cher was the brightest performer, bucking the trend of other artists of the decade who have been on a downward spiral since the collapse of Simon & Garfunkel last week. 80's Cher remained steady, despite increased alcohol consumption, and 90's Cher remains in the 90s, still unrecognisable due to plastic surgery. 21st century Cher remains in hiding, possibly deceased.
Today's Crossword
Fuckbiscuit
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